Regular check-ups at the dentist are part of the lives of people at least in Western countries. Dentists are thus members of a profession that is well known to many. Compared with other, similarly well-known professions, however, dentists feature only rarely as characters in plays. In this (longer) blog entry, I want to provide a survey of these plays. A dentist’s view completes the entry.
While some plays with scientists as
characters deal to a considerable extent with the science they are involved in,
at times, as in Carl Djerassi’s plays, meticulously ensuring accuracy of the
science in all its aspects while at the same time allowing scientists to come
across as human beings with all their human frailties, in the case of dentist
characters, the emphasis tends to be different. There are some plays where a
character, usually male, is identified as a dentist in passing—the profession
is not of much interest to the play, beyond the fact that some university
education will have been necessary, and for the character to be placed in a
specific social and financial bracket. Mike Leigh’s 2006 play 2000 years is a good example of this.
The
play is set in 2004 and 2005 in the home of Danny, his wife Rachel, his son
Josh, his daughter Tammy, family friend Jonathan, Rachel’s father Dave, Tammy’s
boyfriend Tzachi and Rachel’s sister Michelle.
Leigh calls it his Jewish play.
It is about the life of a Jewish family in contemporary Britain and
their ideas and attitudes towards their Jewishness and the events in Israel. Danny
is a dentist and there is not much in the play about this work. He says to his son
 |
| Mike Leigh: Two Thousand Years |
We
give you money, you buy books, you stay up half the night, you get up whenever
you like, you are free to come and go, you have never had a job. Josh, you left University seven years ago
with a first class honours degree in mathematics. The world was your oyster. We tried to bring you up decently and respectably
and now this mishigas. Your mother runs
around clearing up after you while I spend all day fiddling in people’s mouths.
(2006, 22)
The quote confirms
the comfortable financial situation enabled by Danny’s profession, and the implication
that he does not much like what he has to do to earn his money: “fiddling in
people’s mouths” implies and conveys disgust—probably with the implication that
this cannot be an ideal attitude to daily work. In the middle of a later conversation
Danny says
So Thursday morning this little kid
comes in and he craps himself in the chair he is so scared. His mother was mortified, poor Estelle had to
come in and help me clear up the mess.
Nothing wrong with his teeth, put me back ten minutes” (2006, 30)
His wife, Rachel,
comments: “Put you back ten minutes, put him back for life, he will probably
never go to the dentist again poor kid” (2006, 30). Time comes into the final
reference in the play to Danny’s profession, when he says to his father-in-law:
“Dave, my whole life is about keeping appointments” (2006, 77). In the musical The Gig, the dentist character, Arthur,
one of a group of men aged thirty-five to fifty-five that form an amateur jazz
band, is also concerned about appointments: in relation to the two-week tour
they are embarking on, all the men of the jazz band comment on the things that
they have had to give up. Arthur says: “Marty, I cancelled two weeks of
appointments for this” (1992, 35).
Thus in Mike Leigh’s serious play we have
a dentist who does not like his job, with one general impression that he finds
it disgusting, and one specific, and extreme of a disgusting incident. This
dentist, furthermore, seems more concerned with the implications on the smooth
running of his schedule than the well-being of the patients. Arthur in The Gig comments that “it’s a disgusting
job” (1992, 96). “When you get right down to it, it’s a disgusting job putting
your fingers in other people’s mouths but Wednesday nights are not about the
daily grind like when they grind their teeth into my flesh or spray my face or
mess with my equipment, Wednesday nights are there to help forget my
scars. In only 32 bars, I am one of six
shooting stars” (1992, 19).
In light comedy, disgust also features, for comedy
effects: for example, Felix, a “neurotic but likeable” (1978, 5) London dentist
is asked by the estate agent trying to sell him the Spanish holiday home, what
he does for a living.
 |
| Douglas J Cohen, The Gig |
Felix:
Teeth
Partridge:
Ohh. Interesting.
Felix:
Dentistry has been called many things, but rarely “interesting”.
Partridge:
That’s the answer. That’s why your nerves are so bad. The job’s tedious.
Felix:
Nothing but gums and molars, caps and crowns…and the occasional clove of
garlic. You’re right, I’m in bad shape” (1978, 17)
The idea of
disgust links with that of the dentist character as (ab-)using his power over
patients lying in their chairs as helpless victims. The dentist in the musical The Little Shop of Horrors is probably
the most well-known example. Teeth, a
play for television by Tom Stoppard, first broadcast in 1967, is set in the
dental surgery of dentist Harry Dunn, described as small, mid-30s, very clean
and pink, with light framed spectacles, and a tight even white smile. Stoppard describes the play in the preface as
a “Roald Dahl type story as I hoped. I
take this opportunity to dedicate it to my much more recent and much nicer
dentist” (1993, vii). The Roald Dahl reference suggests that this is black comedy
and indeed what turns out to be the case is that Harry has a relationship with
Mary, his receptionist, while the receptionist’s husband, George, has a
relationship with the dentist’s wife. Although the dentist has his own
relationship with George’s wife, he does not like George to have a relationship
with his wife and so when George comes for a routine check-up of a set of
perfect teeth, Harry subjects him to humiliation and prods around in his mouth
with his instruments, drilling where it is not necessary and in the end pulling
at least one tooth. Quite a lot of the
dentist’s work in the patient’s mouth is filmed in detail; in this respect, the
direction reads that
Harry should make use of all his
tools and nozzles, squirting air and water, swivelling, drilling etc. The point is that Harry is playing with
George. The dental procedures do not
have to be authentic or accurate. The director
and actors can assume that there is nothing much wrong with George’s teeth and
there is a logical rationalisation for using the machine indiscriminately for
effect. (1993, 32)
 |
| Ron Clarke and Sam Bobrick, Murder at the Howard Johnson's |
From the black comedy of Little Shop of Horrors and Teeth, we move to light comedy, which is where most dentists in drama are found. Murder at the Howard Johnson’s by Ron Clarke and Sam Bobrick is a good example.The three acts of this play are set in a Howard Johnson’s hotel (one of the hotel chains in America) on three different occasions, a week before Christmas in Room 514, on the 4th July in Room 907, and on New Year’s Eve in Room 1015. The play has three characters, Arlene Miller, her husband, Paul Miller and their dentist, Mitchell Lovell. In the first scene the dentist and Arlene plot to kill Paul but fail. In the second scene Arlene and Paul plot to kill the dentist but fail. In the third scene, the dentist and Paul plot to kill Arlene but fail. The comedy is based on several clichés about dentists: first of all, the character of Mitchell is introduced with reference to the assumption that dentists are attractive to women because of their profession (presumably implying financial prowess): thus, Mitchell says to Arlene, rather pompously and therefore funny: “I can’t stand the thought of anybody but me touching you. I am a dentist Arlene, you know I can have any woman I want, but all I want is you” (1979, 7). The dentist’s cruelty, exaggerated in Little Shop of Horrors and Teeth, received slightly lighter treatment in Murder at the Howard Johnson’s: Mitchell reveals to Arlene: “I have never told you this before but remember when I put in that bridge for him and he went home in terrific pain, I purposely did that to him. I put in the wrong size bridge, I wanted to hurt him.” The potential weight of this confession is reduced and the confession turned into a joke through Arlene’s response: “I love you Mitchell”, followed by their passionate embrace (1979, 8). Mitchell wears a very colourful shirt, emphasising his macho image, and is appalled and hurt when Paul refers to him as middle class: “Who the hell are you calling middle class? I am a professional dentist with diplomas all over the wall” (1979, 17). A further reference, with comic impact, to the dentist’s assumed status of power comes in Scene Two: Arlene has lured Mitchell into the Howard Johnson’s hotel by leaving a suicide note and when Mitchell arrives he says: “Arlene, I am glad I got here in time. I drove through red lights, I drove through stop signs. I drove through railroad crossing, thank God I am a doctor, I am allowed to drive like a maniac.” (1979, 33).
A dentist’s high
income, at the expense of the overpaying patients, provides a further source of
laughter in Murder at the Howard
Johnson’s. Mitchell and Arlene have lured Arlene’s husband, Paul, a
used-car dealer, to the Howard Johnson’s to an alleged meeting with a crook
willing to sell him stolen cars for re-sale. When Paul realises that the person
he expected to find in the apartment at the Howard Johnson’s is not the man he
thought he would meet, but the dentist, he comments “You, you are our dentist,
you don’t make enough money overcharging us?
You have to operate a stolen car ring too?” (1979, 12). As in the
previous example from this play, the comedy continues right away with the
following lines: Arlene is getting impatient—after all, she and the dentist
have to get on with murdering her husband, Paul, so she asks Paul to give her
his coat, and prompts Mitchell to inform Paul of their plans: “Dr Lovell has
something to tell you. Go ahead honey”. Paul in turn responds with “Honey? Who calls a dentist honey?” (1979, 12). The
play then comes back to the financial dimension when, prior to attempting to
kill Paul according to their plan, Mitchell suggests a divorce: “A nice clean
split, we let the lawyers handle everything; we stay friends and from hereon in
all your dental work is 50% off” (1979, 12). When Paul refuses the generous
offer, he is still somewhat upset about finding out his wife has been betraying
him—again with a comical dimension, because of the apparent reason he is upset
when he says: “In love with a man who butchered my mouth, it still hurts from
the lousy bridge you put in”. Mitchell retorts: “So don’t pay me”. Paul: “I
didn’t” (1979, 12).
The financial
dimension of a dentist’s work is also obvious in On Golden Pond by Ernest Thompson, on which the film of the same
title with Henry Fonda is based. The play is set in the home of Ethel and
Norman Thayer, an elderly couple. Norman has got major heart problems and Ethel
is worried about his health. Their
daughter, Chelsea, comes to visit, bringing with her her new boyfriend, Bill
Ray. When Bill’s son Billie Ray is introduced, Norman mistakes him playfully
for the dentist saying “you seem awfully young to be a dentist”. Billie responds “I am a midget”. Norman “Oh
Really?”. Chelsea (Norman and Ethel’s
daughter) laughs and clarifies: “This is Billie Ray Junior” (1979, 65). Norman
later asks Bill how much he charges for a filling. Bill: “$40 generally”.
Norman “$40, good god, my brother charged $5 for a filling right up to 1973
when he raised it to $7. That’s when I
stopped going to him”. The small talk continues with
 |
| Ernest Thompson, On Golden Pond |
Bill: Your brother is a dentist?
Norman: Yes he was when he was living.
Bill: Isn’t that amazing?
Norman: I don’t know, I think every
family has one. (1979, 42)
Later in the
scene, Ethel and Norman talk about Chelsea and her new boyfriend. The
conversation comes back to the financial implications of Bill’s work:
Ethel: Chelsea says he’s very funny.
Norman: He is, he’s a scream.
Ethel: She really likes him, I can
tell that, says he is very smart.
Norman: And rich, did she tell you
that? $40 a filling!
Ethel: $40?
Norman: That’s enough to keep you off
sweets isn’t it?
Ethel: Well, he’d be a quite a catch
won’t he. (1979, 48)
At a later point,
Norman asks Chelsea whether she can get them a discount on dental work (1979,
63).
Canadian
Gothic by Joanna M Glass is a play about a Saskatchewan
dentist and his mildly rebellious wife. The wife dies, and the daughter
remembers, with reference to money:
Fortunately there is gold in
dentistry. My father wouldn’t have
live-in help under foot in the evenings so we hired a woman to do the washing
and we hired a woman to do the cooking.
In accordance with his nature we took care of these things first then we
mourned”. (1977, 12)
Conveniently for
the comical plot of Murder at the Howard
Johnson’s, Paul is suffering acutely from pain caused by the bridge and
shouts out in pain, serving as the trigger for the following exchange:
Mitchell: What’s wrong?
Paul: It’s that lousy bridge you put
in.
Mitchell: goes to
the bag and gets some dental instruments Here let me have a look.
Paul: No, no it’s alright.
Mitchell: Open wide. looks into Paul’s mouth Have you been
using your water pick?
Paul: Who’s got time?
Mitchell: You are lucky you are going
to die Paul. You need $1200 worth of
work there.
Paul: I wouldn’t go to you if you
were the last dentist on earth.
Mitchell: For you, I am the last
dentist on earth. (1979, 19)
When Paul
threatens to kill Mitchell, in Scene Two, Mitchell tries to bribe himself out
of the situation: “I tell you what, free office visits for a whole year” (1979,
36)
In addition to a
dentist’s macho image and his money, comedies make use of the dentist’s tools. Mitchell
in Murder at the Howard Johnson’s and
Dr Julian Winston in The Cactus Flower
wear a white dentist jacket, and Mitchell uses a hypodermic needle. Reference
to the dentist’s chair is used to comic effect in Murder at the Howard Johnson’s as well. In Scene Two, Paul and
Arlene plan the murder of the dentist because she found him in a compromising
situation in his surgery with the dental nurse. Arlene wanted to surprise
Mitchell in his office and opened the door.
Paul: Yes.
Arlene: And there they were in the
chair.
Paul: In the chair?
Arlene: He and his dental assistant.
Paul: With Judy? I thought she just cleaned teeth. Scum, scum of the earth.
Arlene: She sure is.
Paul: I am talking about him. (1979, 31)
When Mitchell
arrives and Paul and Arlene talk to him about this incident, Mitchell comically
relates that after Arlene left the surgery, he jumped up from the chair. He hit
the wrong button and the chair folded in half, leaving the dental nurse
seriously injured (1979, 33).
In The Cactus Flower, well-intentioned,
“good” dentist Dr Winston is tempted say this to Igor, his rival for the
favours of his girlfriend, Tony: “I would like to have you in my chair for just
five minutes” (1966, 44). Dentist characters harm patients not only
intentionally, as in Little Shop of
Horrors, Teeth, or Murder at the Howard Johnson’s in the
contexts of black comedy and light comedy, but their practice goes wrong
unintentionally when they are run down with their nerves: by the end of the
play Murder at the Howard Johnson’s, Mitchell
complains about his practice falling to pieces:
the other day I was taking an
impression of one of my few remaining patients and I cemented her gums
together” (…) Last week I did a root canal on an old man who wears false teeth
and you know what I did yesterday? I
dropped a gold filling down a woman’s throat.
That is a $140 down the toilet. (1979, 48)
Dr Winston in The Cactus Flower feels that his love
life influences and affects his ability as a dentist badly. He says “my problems with Tony are beginning
to affect my work. You know what
happened in there just now? I hurt Mrs
Durrant, she felt pain, it’s the first time I have ever hurt a patient” (1966,
52).
In John
Kirkpatrick’s one-act farce Kiss me Quick
– I Am Double Parked, dentist Alex reminisces with his dental nurse, Lily
Carter:
Alex: Think of all the tender moments
we have shared. Remember last year—my
first extraction, that old Mrs Havilland, that lovely impacted wisdom
tooth—why, the roots must have gone down to her knees. (His voice has taken on an odd nostalgic quality)
Lily : (Also reliving it all) Yes, yes.
Alex: I was so excited I couldn’t
wait for the novocaine to take effect—
Lilly: That first pull of yours—
Alex: She kicked me in the
stomach—broke a bottle of Lavoris over your head and left. She never came back, I wonder why? Yes, yes, we have been through a lot, Miss
Carter. (…) (1968, 7)
Lily
later describes Alex’s working habits to another character: “He has a record
player (…) to sooth his patients. You
know, Beethoven for drilling—Tschaikovski for extractions”. (1968, 16)
In The Cactus Flower, in the surgery the
voice of the assistant, Stephanie, and the soft music create an effect that is
supposed to be very soothing for the patients (1966, 12). Dr Winston reveals
the true purpose of the background music, which “has become a very important aspect
of modern dental therapy. It is very
soothing to the dentist”. A patient, Harvey comments: “At your prices you can
afford Heifez in person” (1966, 15)
When dentist
characters are conscientious, good dentists, this is shown by the kind of
advice they give patients directly, and well-intended suggestions they make to
friends. In The Cactus Flower, for
example, a patient, Mrs Durrant, comes to see Dr Winston after a filling has
come out because she has eaten a caramel. She complains: “A caramel, one lousy
caramel and the whole damn filling came out”.
The dental nurse, Stephanie, admonishes her “Mrs Durrant, it was only a
temporary filling and you were warned to be careful, caramels…” (1966, xx). The nurse’s words mirror those of
Dr Winston himself a little later (1966, 17).
A dentist
character’s profession can bleed into their daily lives outside the surgery. Dentist
Felix in But She Won’t Lie Down met
his wife Belinda when she came to his surgery to have her teeth capped. Felix
remembers: “I remember she had a pair of the sexiest incisors I’d ever seen …
so I asked her out to the local chophouse. I didn’t know then she was going to
devour me” (1978, 84). When the men of the jazz band in The Gig have arrived at the venue for the big event, the Paradise
Manor, before going to bed, Arthur comically comments on the fluoride level in
the water, “I am speaking to Mr Mitgan tomorrow [the owner], there is not
enough fluoride in this water”. (1992, 55). Various members of the band try to
strike up relationships with female company that they find around and Arthur is
one of them. He is interested in the
waitress Lucy and as a very funny icebreaker on their first date he says “maybe
sometime I could tell you secrets of dentistry, never before revealed” to which
Lucy responds in a non-committal way “Maybe”.
(1992, 65).
On their second
date the talk is again about dentistry.
Lucy: I have an uncle who is a
dentist,
Arthur: I hope you like him,
Lucy: He is a very wise man,
Arthur: As a matter of fact you can
learn a lot about human nature from the way people behave in a dentist’s chair,
Lucy: For instance?
Arthur: Take pain. There is a certain type who feels guilty if
they are not suffering so they refuse anaesthesia no matter what.
Lucy: Not I
Arthur: Then there’s the ones with no
tolerance who need novocaine to sit in the waiting room.
Lucy: That’s me.
Arthur: No it is isn’t.
Lucy: How do you know?
Arthur: Like I said—you learn to read
people. And I size you up as eminently sensible.
Lucy You are right. I said the other to be funny.
(Lucy
smiles, Arthur smiles in return and they break into song)
Arthur: Beautiful
Lucy: Sorry?
Arthur: (uncomfortable that his feelings slipped out)
Your teeth are beautiful.
they are so
perfectly in place
they
complement your face,
so
beautiful.
They are in
there as tight as drums,
thanks to
those healthy gums
they are
also beautiful.
Yes
beautiful,
so beauti….
I am embarrassing
you
Lucy: A little
Arthur: I am just giving you my professional opinion
Smiles from
you
can cheer me
when I am glum
Yes after
you, they broke the mould,
your
fillings aren’t just gold,
they are
platinum.
It really
comes across
how much you
like to floss,
your smile
is beautiful
oh beautiful
so beautiful,
beautiful…
Lucy (in soliloquy)
I didn’t
want to like him
(1992, 70-72)
In The Gig Arthur addresses an unseen
patient, “I am not superman Robbie, I don’t have the necessary x-ray vision to
see straight through your clenched mouth and into your gums, but I am a super
crusader for aural hygiene and together we could be become a dynamic duo, but
first you have got to let me look in that terrific mouth of yours”. Following a
few sung lines accompanied by music, he continues: “Ok Robbie how about we play
astronaut. I will start the countdown
and when I say blast off you open your mouth wide as a space ship. Are you ready?” (1992, 19).
The well-meaning
dentist is also being exploited for treating some patients without payment.
This characteristic is used to comical effect when, in The Cactus Flower, patient Harvey asks whether the dentist, Dr
Winston, could do something for the overlap of his girlfriend’s teeth,
preferably without having to pay. He
hardly ever pays for his own treatment either.
Dr Winston replies: “Oh send her around and I will see what I can do but
don’t you know any girls with straight teeth?” (1966,19).
One-off humour at
the expense of a dentist comes in the form of dentist Felix in But She Won’t Lie Down arranging a fake
marital fight with his late wife’s sister, Joanna, impersonating his wife.
Joanna: (…) She might begin by
describing you as more of an absess [sic] than a dentist.
Felix: Umm … you’ll think of
something better by then.
Joanna: An orthodontic drip. An
antiseptic old auntie. (1978, 49)
A patient who is
funnily afraid of dentists is Senor Sanchez in The Cactus Flower: “I’ve been through 6 bloody revolutions, I’ve
played a whole game of polo with a broken leg, I have sat in my seat at the
United Nations and without flinching, I have listened to 10 full length Cuban
speeches but dentists……” (he shakes his head)”.
(1966, 29).
To
round off this survey of the presentation of dentists in English language
drama, below is a comment on that material from German Dentist and Orthodontist
Dr Carolin Hadamovsky:
 |
| Dr Carolin Hadamovsky |
I
think that the plays depict well many aspects of how dentists are perceived in
daily life. I am of course saddened that some dentists are represented as
intentionally torturing people—we too have to take the Hippocratic oath on
receiving our licence to practice dentistry! You can’t feel disgusted with
teeth—who would be able to endure a lifetime in such a job? That’s why I am
happy that in The Gig, Arthur is able
to say many positive things about us dentists. Indeed, we need a lot of
empathy, knowledge of human nature and respect for the patient to be able to
carry out a successful treatment. In addition, we have to be absolute aesthetes
(who can be happy about every beautiful set of teeth!), a good salesperson, and
without good business skills you will go bankrupt even despite good ability as
a dentist. The plays seem not to deal with those last two qualities of
dentists, possibly a sign that the authors do not know that much about the
finer details of the profession after all. (2014)
Works
Cited
Burrows, Abe.
1996. Cactus Flower. A comedy in two acts by based on a play by
Pierre Barillet and Jean-Pierre Gredy. London: Samuel French.
Clarke, Ron and
Sam Bobrick. 1979. Murder at the Howard
Johnson’s. New York and London: Samuel French.
Cohen, Douglas J. 1992. The Gig: A musical by based on the
motion picture, The Gig, by Frank D
Gilroy. London & New York: Samuel
French.
Glass, Joanna M. 1977. Canadian Gothic. New York: Dramatists
Play Service.
Hadamovsky,
Carolin. 2014. Personal communication, email, 22 April.
Kirkpatrick,
John. 1968. Kiss me Quick – I’m Double Parked.
London: Samuel French.
Leigh, Mike. 2006. 2000 Years. London: Faber
& Faber.
Stoppard, Tom. 1967. Teeth. London: Faber & Faber.
Thompson, Ernest. 1979. On Golden Pond. New York: Dramatists
Play Service.
Yeldham, Peter. 1978. But She Won’t Lie Down. New
York: Samuel French.
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